I’m Not Dead

Posted: February 6, 2012 in Misc.

I’m not dead. Just busy. I have absolutely no intentions of quitting my blog, but I think what I AM going to do is take it in a different direction. And, obviously, there’s a good chance that there’s gonna be a long hiatus between each post because I’m freaking busy. But yeah, I’m still here. There are just going to be some changes around here, and remember, kids:

Not posting since September or so =/= Sleepy is dead.

Good night.

(Or have a fucking awesome day).

1. Kings of Leon. They say they could use somebody, but who the hell needs them, amiright?!

2. Racists. I don’t discriminate; I hate all those jerks.

3. People who shit all over good rock music. All the good stuff is supposedly Satanic. Everything else just really sucks anymore.

4. Parents who hate their kids. This goes without explanation.

5. Parents who are completely non-involved with their kids. Half the time they don’t even know where the hell their kids are.

6. General bullshitters. You know what they sound like.

7. Fundamentalist butt wipes. Apparently Satan controls the world. Strange how he seems more busy than God. Also strange how God apparently needs so much money. And thinks so many people should die. Where’s the love again?

8. Nosy people. Like the parents who read all of your messages, monitor your calls…the in-laws that do the same…Learn to respect privacy, douches!

9. Politicians. They all suck. Even if they didn’t, it is logically impossible for all the people to be pleased with whoever is ruling. In ‘MERICA, if you put a Democrat in office, all the Republicans–especially the ultra-conservative ones–are going to bitch about it. If you put a Republican in office, all the Democrats are gonna bitch. And even if–by some insane twist of fate–some other clown gets elected, well, all the people who disagree with HIS policies are gonna bitch. You can’t please everybody. Everyone wants their own shit done with the government, and many times what one person wants is the exact freaking opposite of what another person wants. Some people are gonna get screwed no matter what.

10. People who think Pagans, Wiccans, New Agers, Satanists, and Atheists are all the same thing. Do some research, dumbasses. This is why no one takes you seriously.

11. People who are just plain stupid. Self-explanatory. Unless you’re a dumbass.

12. People who force lifestyle choices on other people. Get busy living your OWN dang life and stay out of other peoples’ affairs.

13. Conspiracy theorists. Yeah, whatever…I don’t care. You guys can hide in your little shelters and sell Armageddon-proof Twinky cakes to your hearts’ content. Go right ahead.

14. Spaghetti noodles. Disgusting.

15. Over-the-phone customer service. We all know over-the-phone customer service was invented by foreigners to get back at white people.

16. Internet trolls. Who doesn’t?

17. People who suck at being friends/girlfriends/boyfriends/basic aquantences. If you’re not really interested in someone, don’t make them think you are in the first damn place.

18. Logical fallacies. The world could certainly do without these.

19. Death. It’s a bitch.

20. Romance stories. Such crap. Yeah, sure, love is cool. It’s a pretty powerful thing. I’m just not into shitty books and movies.

I have risen from my grave, BITCHES!

In Idiotica, that means I’m back to blogging. Not that you would understand idiotica anyway. You’re probably a dumbass.

Just in case you cared, here is a small gallery of the memes I have made up.

See that foot print on your ass? That’s from just now. YOU’RE WELCOME.

Yoda Is Funny

Posted: June 6, 2011 in Misc.
Tags: , ,

Are You confused?

Posted: May 17, 2011 in Misc.

Are you confused? Do you need direction in life? Why are you here? Does life have meaning? Why are you still waiting in the doctor’s office? Didn’t you get here, like, three hours BEFORE your scheduled appointment? Will your health insurance even cover this crap? How come your momma’s breath smells like a repugnant mixture of Theraflu and Scotch?

Well, you’re screwed, ’cause my about page won’t answer any of THOSE questions.

Anyway, more importantly: why did the sleepy herm suddenly turn into a cynical bastard? I mean, one minute he’s all “let’s tell some jokes,” and the next he’s all in your face with his baby-blood-thirsty god-hating atheism and what not? Is there a page on this site to explain this wacky phenomenon? (Hint: God didn’t do it. Sorry, I couldn’t resist) Have you tried reading the updated “about” page? That should help. Seriously.

It sure helped this guy. It helped the $HIT out of him.